Troubled Marriage? Is Divorce or Separation a Solution?

Several so-called experts have been misguiding us for many years that separation or divorce can be a wiser option, especially to protect children from the agony of being a victim of never-ending arguments at home. But researches done in recent years have proved otherwise. In fact, these researchers have proved that the decision of the married partners to separate is a faulty one. Children living with a single parent who is separated from the other partner are likely to be affected seriously. Let us find out more about this.

Separation or divorce may appear to be a good solution but it's not.

Just a casual study of the present-day context reveals that hundreds of thousands of couples make a swift and perhaps, impulsive decision to go for divorce or separation because they wrongly assume that marital happiness is missing in their lives. They think that the decision will be beneficial to their kids as well. Of course, it is not right to blame them because according to them, peace of mind is of paramount importance. They sincerely wish that their kids should live in peace also. But unfortunately, their decision seems to have been influenced by the advice of some of the "experts" who have been following Goebell's Law to the hilt to assert that peace of mind in life is more important than all other things. 

But if peace of mind is the only thing that matters in life, many of us will not be employed at all because almost all of us keep complaining of mental stress at our workplaces. We do not have either a perfect ambiance in the workplace or a perfect boss, perfect peers, or a perfectly satisfying job. We are putting up with all these issues at our workplace and pretend to have peace of mind there. This being the case, can't you bear with a few issues including your partner's shortcomings at your home? Do you think that you are a perfect person with no negatives? Is your partner not putting up with you despite your idiosyncrasies, imperfections, and shortcomings? So, it is wrong to have a biased view and decide to go for divorce attributing toxicity and incompatibility in the relationship. 

Will your kids benefit from your decision to go for divorce or separation?

Your decision to go for divorce or separation will harm your kids immensely. Psychiatrists say that children will not be better off if their parents go for divorce. According to Dr. Derek Miller, a psychiatry professor at the Northwestern University, who also headed the adolescent unit at Chicago's Northwestern Memorial Hospital, "there is no proof a child brought up by a single parent feels more secure and is better off than a child brought up by two parents." Dr. Miller had taken into consideration the increasing number of suicides among children and more particularly, adolescents, alarmingly increasing instances of teenage pregnancies among girl-children, drug abuse, and even murders. Unfortunately, it is the divorce or separation of their parents that has negatively impacted the lives of most of these adolescents. This means that despite the frequent arguments, tensions, and stress, it is better if couples stay together. 

Remember the fact that there are arguments and differences of opinions in every family. Of course, the frequency of such arguments and differences of opinions may vary from one family to another. Despite these issues, if the parents stay together and decide against divorce or separation, they can be certain that their children will be better off when they grow up. Children will learn and develop the very important qualities of tenacity and commitment as well. 

If you do not consider divorce or separation as an option, an amazing thing is likely to happen in your attitude. That is you will start loving your spouse more than ever. Of course, this may not happen immediately. But gradually and as years roll by, this is certain to happen. You may even start feeling that your life is 'empty' without your partner. In short, separation or divorce is not a good solution for your troubled marriage.