That most of us are allowing others to control our life is a painful truth. You have to first acknowledge this in order to bring back the control in your hands. Why are others keen to control your life? Perhaps, they want to get some advantage out of it or they want to pull you down so that they can surpass, outfox or outsmart you. In this context, should you continue to allow them to control your life? The result will be disastrous for your personal growth. You cannot pursue your passion, not to talk of focusing on achieving your life goals, career growth, or success in your business endeavors. So, you should take all possible steps for taking back control of your life. Once you succeed in your efforts, you can see a massive improvement in your life. Let us find out how you can get out of this damned rut of being controlled by others.
The fact is that it is your consciousness about your social image that forces you to succumb to the pressure of external manipulative control over your life. For example, as a parent, you may expect that your children should score high grades in their examinations. In the case of your spouse, your expectations may be a major irking factor. This is due to the social comparisons you make consciously or unconsciously. This means the love you have for your spouse or children is also conditional love. As far as your children are concerned, you will be causing irreparable damage to the self-worth of your children, thanks to your expectations and comparisons.
In the same manner, you may compare your lifestyle, your assets, belongings, etc. with those of others and if according to your perception, your lifestyle does not match with that of others, you are disturbed. In other words, you are unconsciously allowing others to control your life. Another classic example of letting others exert control over your life is to say "yes" to every demand made by others regardless of the reasonableness of the demands. Now the question is how to come out of such flawed situations.
The answer to this question is "You have to change the way you look at situations and life." As Akio Morita says, you can be rational with machines but you can never be rational with people. That is why you are asked to make what experts call a "paradigm shift." This means you have to change the way you respond to situations. Comparisons do hurt us. But if you delve deep into them, you will understand that your identity does not depend upon others. Hence, comparisons are futile. Therefore, if you allow your responses to situations and the comparisons you make to control your happiness or moods, you are allowing others to control your life.
Unfortunately, this negative habit of allowing your moods to be determined by external factors may have been perpetrated by repeatedly 'reacting' to situations instead of responding wisely after due deliberations. Never forget the fact that not responding to situations is also a response. In fact, not responding at all to situations or comments can be a great tool that can help avoid rebuttals, rebuffs, and absurd arguments.
So, the best way to take back control of your life is to stop making comparisons and to refrain from "reacting" hastily to situations. Hence, if someone is richer than you, let the person be. Or if someone thinks that he or she is more intelligent than you, so be it. But avoiding comparisons or refraining from "reacting" to situations needs practice. You cannot achieve this overnight. So, practice this habit consistently and take back control of your life.
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