If You Want To Succeed In Life, Develop These Attributes
According to experts who have studied successful people, a number of factors contribute to their success. The main factors these experts list out are the attitude of these folks, their people skills, their ability and readiness to lead from the front, their eagerness to listen, and above all, their willingness to take responsibility for their actions and decisions.
But recent studies have revealed that there is a very important attribute that is commonly found in almost all the successful people. The attribute is that successful people manage their emotions very well and they do not wilt under pressure, They remain calm in any situation, says Travis Bradberry in one of his posts on LinkedIn. Travis Bradberry is the president of TalentSmart and he has coauthored a book entitled "Emotional Intelligence 2.0."
Bradberry has followed up with another post recently and in this new post, he explains that how you manage your emotions involves what you refrain from doing as well as what you are doing. He gathered data of over a million people and sifted through them. This extensive study has revealed that "the upper echelons of top performance are filled with people who are high in emotional intelligence." In other words, he has uncovered the things successful people do and those things they do not do in order to remain calm, contented and completely in control. Let us have a look at some of these things.
1. Successful people firmly believe that living in or brooding about the past is futile
Emotionally intelligent, successful people rise like a phoenix after every failure and this is possible only because they think that past failures are not the right indicators for future successes. So, if they think that a thing is worth achieving, they do not hesitate to take risks. In other words, they learn from their past failures but never brood about them. Had they not learned to brush aside the effects of their past, they could not have moved forward.
2. They do not focus on problems and they do not hold grudges
The emotional intelligence of successful people is quite strong because they do not focus on problems. They know pretty well that if they focus on problems, they may experience negative emotions that may cause stress and impede their performance. On the other hand, if they focus on solutions to issues, it will help them better themselves constantly. They can improve their personal efficiency and produce positive emotions which will ultimately improve their performance.
Another point is they do not hold grudges. If they start replaying events or conversations that have angered them, they will be sending their system into a fight-or-flight mode, says Bradberry. Of course, adrenalin gland has to function efficiently for ensuring survival but once the threats or situations that anger people have become things of the past, there is no necessity for people to trigger functioning of this gland. It may wreck havoc to their health. In other words, successful and emotionally intelligent folks never hold grudges.
3. They know that perfection is a mirage
Successful people know that there is nothing called perfection and no one is infallible. So, they never aim for perfection that is non-existent. They also know that if they have perfection as their goal, they will face failures very often which may cause stress. They will start focusing on their failures rather on the small successes they achieve. This will torment their minds and will never allow them to achieve bigger goals.
4. They keep themselves away from negative people
Negativity is an infectious disease and it is extremely toxic as well. So, successful people keep themselves away from negative people. On the contrary, if they start listening to complainers, they can not focus on solutions. The best way is to set limits so distancing from such negative minded people does not look like an impolite action.
5. They do not hesitate to say "No"
Saying "no" is certainly a very big challenge but success aspirants should learn to overcome this challenge. Those who do not utter this word when it is necessary are likely to experience a lot of stress. Experts advise that there is no need to tell this in so many words because it should be told directly. This will help people honor their existing commitments.