How To Re-Energize Intimacy And Bondage With Your Spouse
You may have been married for quite a few years. You may find that the intimacy with your spouse has come down drastically. You may feel that both of you are living in the same house as strangers without much intimacy, maintaining long hours of silence, not communicating to each other as frequently as you used to do earlier and so on. Even your sexual overtures may have become quite occasional. There may be many reasons for such an insipid relationship between you and your spouse. Let us have a look and let us also find out if there can be solution to this problem.
You should not nurture the misconception that intimacy lies in having continuous sexual relationship with your spouse. Intimacy is a much broader term. It covers a whole ambit of things like familiarity, close relationship, affection, friendship and of course, sexual relationship also. In other words, it is an interpersonal relationship reinforced by affection and concern for each other. This also covers tolerance, dependency on each other and emotional bondage and fulfillment.
When you were newly married, there used to be more interactions and more physical contacts. You will look for opportunities to speak, interact and touch your spouse. But, as the married life matures, these activities get reduced and they are replaced by other forms of communication. This change is probably due to a feeling of comfort you might have had in the presence of your spouse. It may also be due to stability in the relationship. As a few more years pass by, romance and intimacy are greatly reduced due to pressures of life, needs of the growing family, other priorities like financial and career growth requirements, etc. It is then the relationship with your spouse is relegated to the background.
But, modern studies insist that you should continue to maintain intimacy in your married life so that you can excel in whatever you do. A healthy relationship at home will do a world of good in your career, profession and also in maintaining a great health. But, for achieving this aim, you should take purposeful steps. You should understand that it can not happen automatically or just by wielding a magic wand.
- You should start the process by focusing on how you can give back "life" to your relationship. It is similar to getting your ex back. Communication is the main key to start the process. You should have a free and frank discussion with your spouse so that he/she understands your priorities and limitations. At the same time, you should also listen to your partner and understand his/her priorities and limitations. All through the years, you may have made a few guesses about these things. These guesses may be wrong or these things may have undergone drastic changes due to changes in circumstances and other necessities that may have been forced on both of you. After all, life's priorities can not remain static. Once both of you are clear about these two things, other things will fall in place easily.
- You should set exclusive time for each other. This should happen as frequently as possible, may be, once or twice a week. But, you should ensure that both of you are not disturbed during these spells. You can even switch off your mobile phones also during these hours. You should also keep your work pressures and other compelling thoughts away from your minds when you are spending these exclusive hours with your spouse. These hours must be spent at a place both of you find the most comfortable. The ambiance that prevails in the place must soothe your minds. Such a relaxed feeling can only enhance the relationship between you and your spouse.
- Understanding that it will take time to cement the relationship again is very important. This is because you have allowed things to drift all these days. Now, both of you sincerely wish that re-blossoming of love and intimacy should happen but you should understand that it can not happen overnight. If you rush things, unnecessary stress will develop and this will spoil the whole show. This is like re-exploring life. You must make all possible efforts for a smooth sail in this journey. You should allow the process to happen naturally without trying to push it artificially. Very soon, love, romance and intimacy will be in the air.
You should not nurture the misconception that intimacy lies in having continuous sexual relationship with your spouse. Intimacy is a much broader term. It covers a whole ambit of things like familiarity, close relationship, affection, friendship and of course, sexual relationship also. In other words, it is an interpersonal relationship reinforced by affection and concern for each other. This also covers tolerance, dependency on each other and emotional bondage and fulfillment.
When you were newly married, there used to be more interactions and more physical contacts. You will look for opportunities to speak, interact and touch your spouse. But, as the married life matures, these activities get reduced and they are replaced by other forms of communication. This change is probably due to a feeling of comfort you might have had in the presence of your spouse. It may also be due to stability in the relationship. As a few more years pass by, romance and intimacy are greatly reduced due to pressures of life, needs of the growing family, other priorities like financial and career growth requirements, etc. It is then the relationship with your spouse is relegated to the background.
But, modern studies insist that you should continue to maintain intimacy in your married life so that you can excel in whatever you do. A healthy relationship at home will do a world of good in your career, profession and also in maintaining a great health. But, for achieving this aim, you should take purposeful steps. You should understand that it can not happen automatically or just by wielding a magic wand.
- You should start the process by focusing on how you can give back "life" to your relationship. It is similar to getting your ex back. Communication is the main key to start the process. You should have a free and frank discussion with your spouse so that he/she understands your priorities and limitations. At the same time, you should also listen to your partner and understand his/her priorities and limitations. All through the years, you may have made a few guesses about these things. These guesses may be wrong or these things may have undergone drastic changes due to changes in circumstances and other necessities that may have been forced on both of you. After all, life's priorities can not remain static. Once both of you are clear about these two things, other things will fall in place easily.
- You should set exclusive time for each other. This should happen as frequently as possible, may be, once or twice a week. But, you should ensure that both of you are not disturbed during these spells. You can even switch off your mobile phones also during these hours. You should also keep your work pressures and other compelling thoughts away from your minds when you are spending these exclusive hours with your spouse. These hours must be spent at a place both of you find the most comfortable. The ambiance that prevails in the place must soothe your minds. Such a relaxed feeling can only enhance the relationship between you and your spouse.
- Understanding that it will take time to cement the relationship again is very important. This is because you have allowed things to drift all these days. Now, both of you sincerely wish that re-blossoming of love and intimacy should happen but you should understand that it can not happen overnight. If you rush things, unnecessary stress will develop and this will spoil the whole show. This is like re-exploring life. You must make all possible efforts for a smooth sail in this journey. You should allow the process to happen naturally without trying to push it artificially. Very soon, love, romance and intimacy will be in the air.
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